You know that feeling when you dream of a man, a man who is everything you ever wanted and needed, everything that you feel your heart has been craving for, everything your mind was conceiving through years and years of the repetitive fairy-tale-reading....? Well, the odds that you are going to meet such man are...hm, how big? 1 in a million?
However, even if everything goes against the odds and you somehow bump into that guy, your illusion bubble is sure to pop at some point when you figure out that he is not the one you have been looking for actually and that what you thought your ideal man was is not the ideal match for you... But, if we assume that even that does not happen and the guy survives the rigorous tryouts that girls are prone to subtly organize and there still is some kind of a barrier that you cannot be together, than you are, well, screwed. Pardon my French. Yeah, I forgot to say that if we assume, in addition to all that has been previously said, that he is crazy about you, then you are double screwed. Again, excuse me.
So, here is a man I think is Mr Right for me. I am mad about him, he's mad about me. And he is in another country. The country I loved almost as much as my own. Dammit. Destiny has a fun way of playing around.
Anyhow, I didn't start this post to whine... although I feel like whining all the time....
As usual, I have no idea why I started it. I guess to process this crazy bunch of wild feeling burning up inside me, shaking me to the very core.
I cannot help but realize how much of you is at stake once you really love another. Once you dare to commit, your entire world on the shore is depending on the strength of the waves in the ocean of your emotional life. Your stability depends on whether you are prepared for the risk or not. When the inconsistency, instability, wild nature of the ocean becomes too much to handle, you can always move to the continental part. However, with no doubt, you will be missing the view, the air, the uncertainty and that wonderful feeling when you are in it.
So, I'm deciding to risk. To wait, because I have been dwelling in the safe long enough to appreciate that risk can lead to change and that the change itself is life.
I'm waiting for the one I have been waiting for so long.
I'm sitting on the shore, playing with the sand and waiting. My heart is full of the emotion I cannot articulate well because it shouldn't be articulated. It should be demonstrated. So I'm waiting patiently, for a hug, for a kiss.
Those who are in a long-distance relationship know the taste of the plastic quite well, for they have kissed laptop screens numerous times. My beautiful man once said that strong teams must play with difficult terms... Though I wish the world was fair and we all had our lives tuned to the same level of difficulty, I must agree that only truly strong ones can survive being so far away and yet keeping their love intact...if not even stronger by each passing day.
His art is to make me fall in love with him each day all over again.
What's another month...or two, or three? Or a year? Well, it's a lot when you love someone. However, at the same time- it's nothing much you know he's worth it. And he surely is.
Σε αγαπω μωρο μου...And I'm not giving up.
