One of the things I have learned through the basic course of psychotherapy, is that sometimes what is left unsaid by our patient is far more important than what he has said. When you analyze his written self-description it is quite often that what he neglects to mention is what is actually crucial. We usually speak about things that we are comfortable speaking about, but the things we are feeling insecure about, things that seriously bother us, things that are hard to express and that are really significant to us are far more difficult to speak about.
I was thinking about this the other day....and what I figured out is that sometimes in our relationships through life (and I don't necessarily mean romantic relationships only, but rather any kind of relationship...) things that hurt the most aren't the things that are said, but the things that have not be said when we needed them to be said. What is kept in silence can wound us more than any insult or painful truth. Things that we are missing to hear are sometimes things that are crucial for us. Like in psychotherapy, sometimes what is not said is more important than what is said. Sometimes, it is easier for us to say words in anger than to say things out of love to the person we care about.
I bet that if we suddenly found out that the world shall reach its end tomorrow and we wouldn't have any chance to see people that we care about ever again, internet, post offices, phone lines would all be crowded with all of the words we missed out saying while we could... Millions and millions of messages saying "I miss you", "I love you", "Thank you for everything...", "You mean so much to me".... because so many of us have probably failed in saying those when we actually had a chance....
I guess that it seems justified to assume that words mean nothing if there are no acts to follow them. But I'd say that although words are empty if there are no actions, actions without words (at least for me) seem sometimes insufficient (I say sometimes, because there are some actions along which words seem rather redundant). Those two need to be combined. A cake would taste just as good, just as sweet, even if it didn't have the icing... Still- there is a reason that we put icing on the top. Without icing, it seems like the cake is unfinished, incomplete. That's how I feel when there are no words. True- if it is a crappy cake, no icing would do any good- even if it was made by Cake Boss himself :) But if the cake is good- icing makes it better. :)
One of the things that differs us from animals is symbolical function; an ability to abstract the meaning and express it through words. We are the only privileged living beings on this planet who have such an amazing opportunity to express their feelings and emotions through words.
Why should we miss out an opportunity to use words to say to someone precious to us how deeply we care?
No day is better than today when it comes to saying something nice to the person you care about. Don't miss an opportunity. If you have kept something silent and you feel is important, do not miss out on saying it loud. Chances are easily missed. And once they are missed, they do not pop up on your road just like that again.
Make sure you say things that you need to say.
Make sure that you do not regret missing out on saying things that should be said.
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